What makes the story line great

#1

The book about Mr walton initially starts off with a great line that get you hooked on and you want to continue reading it. However the introduction of the bestfriend who slept with the boyfriend really gets you wanting Mr Walton to just marry her. The story line is interesting the grammer sometimes throws you off so need to improve on the he and her when differentiating the male characters from the female.

#2

Chinese novel has this problem. I think they use translator